Editor’s note: What activities and practices have gotten us through the pandemic? What have we learned about ourselves during this dismal time? Baltimore Watchdog reporters wrote personal essays and interviewed people on this topic. Here’s what they found.
By Megan Hein
Although the world was burning around me, I ventured into the unknown with a newfound optimism. Once the COVID-19 pandemic hit full force last March, my busy schedule suddenly opened up. I had less responsibility. My routine was upended. In quarantine, I was able to do everything I never had the time nor energy to accomplish before.
Between countless hours of reading, playing Animal Crossing, binging movies and even learning how to knit, my days began to fade into a perpetual blur of mindless pastimes. As golden summer days turned into an autumn gloom, the haze of isolation and boredom grew stronger. While curating my fall music playlist, the array of melancholic tunes inspired me to fiddle around on an old guitar that had been sitting in a corner of my room for years.
I dusted off the acoustic Yamaha that my mom bought for my 10th birthday and gave it a strum. Suddenly, childhood memories of playing the instrument came flooding back to me. I sat on the edge of my bed and recalled some basic chords, then scoured the internet for a song to learn. I found a YouTube tutorial for “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman and memorized the notes one by one, repeating the motions until they became muscle memory. Once I knew it by heart, I foraged through my Spotify library for new songs, signed up for a sheet music website called Ultimate Guitar Tabs and began expanding my repertoire. Although the 12-year-old strings were rusted and sounded like pennies in a tin can, I strummed them until my fingertips were raw.
After replacing the strings and eventually buying a new mahogany Taylor GS Mini with money saved up from tips at my restaurant job, playing guitar became a regular part of my life in quarantine. I either pick it up for a few minutes at a time or spend the entire day holed up in my room learning a new song. People often worry about me because I can get so invested in playing that I acquire tunnel vision and forget to check my phone for hours. However, that’s part of why I like it. When I yearn to escape, playing guitar distracts and removes me from reality. While alone in my room, I play for no one else but myself (and my pet rat, Sal).
Although my family begs me to perform for them, I decline because the act is very personal to me and I’m shy. I finally caved when my mom jokingly threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn’t let her listen. Although it was just my mom, and I knew she could hear me practicing through the walls anyways, I was hesitant. I remember thinking, “What if I mess up?” I shuffled through dozens of songs I had memorized, trying to find the perfect one to play for her. I eventually settled on a classic hit I was sure she knew: Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide.” Sitting face to face on the floor of my room, I plucked strings of the melody while humming the lyrics under my breath. Seeing that I was nervous, she began to sing along, “But time makes you bolder. Even children get older. And I’m getting older too.” In that moment, our connection was more than just one of kinship. I saw her as herself, as someone with her own troubles and heartache, not just someone who nags me to take the trash out.
While playing guitar removes me from the stress of work, school and other obstacles, it also provides an outlet to reflect on my thoughts. I can explore new perspectives and feelings I didn’t even know I had through music and words. From upbeat pop hits to sullen indie tracks and everything in between, I find myself playing a wide variety of styles. I often end up alternating between Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers songs, most recently “Love Story” and “Funeral.” Lyrics like “Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess,” and “Jesus Christ, I’m so blue all the time,” allow me to be introspective, especially during this time of anxiety and uncertainty.
While I do find myself connecting to these artists, I would eventually like to learn how to write my own songs so I can express my experiences through my own point of view. But for now, I will continue to explore myself through music, strumming my worries away while navigating life in a pandemic. When the world blows up, I hope I go down playing.
By Mikiya Ellis-Glunt
Together in their string-light-decorated bedroom, halfway through a bottle of white wine, Jaline Vasquez Cruz and her boyfriend, Juan, are deep in conversation about Taylor Swift. The song “Seven” from Swift’s album Folklore plays in the background, and they’re arguing about whether it’s written from the original girlfriend’s perspective or the side piece’s perspective. Cruz is convinced it’s from the side piece’s perspective, while her boyfriend is convinced the song is actually about Swift’s childhood.
For the next few weeks, discussions like this were commonplace in their household.
The U.S. had been in lockdown for about three months by this time. With the future unknown, Cruz knew that she needed to find something that would occupy her time again. She decided it would be a great time for her to get back into music.
Since the beginning of her relationship with Juan, she knew Swift was one of his favorite artists. Cruz knew a lot about Swift’s early music, which was before she turned toward pop. She hasn’t paid as much attention since. Listening to Swift’s new albums, which she recording during COVID-19, gave the couple a chance to bond over music they enjoyed.
“I was listening to Taylor’s old album ‘Lover,’ but I was only listening to the slow songs that felt earthy and I kept telling Juan ‘I love her earthy voice, I love her raw voice, I wish she would make more’ and then the freaking Folklore album came out and I was like this is exactly what I was asking for,” Cruz said.
Cruz said for the first time, this felt like the old, pre-pop Swift. She felt more connected than ever to an album. Swift’s voice was real and raw; you could feel the passion in every song. Cruz felt the album provided a sense of “escapism” from her everyday realities of being in a pandemic.
“Juan gave me the best tip and this kind of sounds obvious but also this is why I loved a lot of music but never got into artist and stuff, but he always told me to listen to albums from the beginning because the order that they put songs in is important to the sound and it was meant to be that way,” Cruz said.
For the first time ever, Cruz listened to an album from beginning to end without skipping around in search of that one song to speak to her. Letting the songs play, visualizing the story being told, Cruz was hanging onto every word. Cruz would play the album while she cooked, cleaned around the apartment and even when doing her work.
Cruz wanted to know more about what inspired Swift to get back in touch with her more earthy vibe, so she decided to dive deeper into what sparked this new sound. Swift had come out with a Disney+ documentary explaining the inspiration behind the new Folklore album and its epilogue, Evermore.
She learned that she had something in common with Swift — they were both fantasizing a lot during quarantine. Cruz later learned that this was Swift’s inspiration for the album.
“I loved the Folklore album so much,” she said. “I was listening to it every day, and then I started thinking about how before the pandemic, I really didn’t take advantage of going to concerts. I took that for granted completely. I always used to say ‘I don’t like going to concerts because of the hassle, you usually don’t get good seats because they’re expensive as heck,’; then I started to think about how as soon as I get out of this pandemic I wanna go see her [Taylor].”
Cruz had listening sessions with Juan, and then when he went back to work in person, she listened alone. As she sang to me her favorite song off of the Folklore album, ‘August’, Cruz explained why this song resonated with her during COVID-19.
“August slipped away like a moment in time ’cause you were never mine, August slipped away like a bottle of wine.” Cruz said Swift described time in a way she never could put together in words. “It’s true because when you’re drinking a bottle of wine, the wine goes quickly just as time goes so quickly.” Cruz said.
By Sierra Hunter
At 2:30 p.m. last Halloween, Marc Felton was at work when he got a text from his friend, Shehzi Waseem, who was performing at Skatepark of Baltimore. Waseem asked if Felton’s punk band, Reasonable Clout, could fill in for a band who dropped out last minute. It was a good gig. But there was one problem: Felton didn’t leave work until 4:30 p.m., The show started at 4 p.m., and Reasonable Clout would be the closing act. It would be a rush to get home and drive to the venue.
Soon after accepting the gig, Felton texted his band the flyer and rushed out of the break room at 4:30 p.m. to get home to break down his drum kit. Felton threw on a Spiderman costume he found balled up inside his drum case for the show. It was Halloween, after all. Extremely late, he sped in his car to the venue, which is a 30-minute drive from his home, to set up.
This performance was Reasonable Clout’s first outdoor live show since Maryland’s stay-at-home order back in March. And while Halloween is typically the time for trick-or-treating and wearing masks (the fun kind), this year, a mandatory cloth face covering was required.
Inside the park concert venue was an elevated stage, located on the outer rim of the skate bowl. People skated nearby, and some stopped to watch the show.
For Reasonable Clout’s drummer, Mark Felton, 32, outdoor performances would become the new normal during COVID-19.
For this show, Felton wore his red and blue Spiderman bodysuit and aviator shades. He and his band members continued their longstanding tradition of having beer before the show to calm any nerves. Tonight’s beer of choice: Yuengling, which Felton got from another band’s cooler.
“I’ve been in other bands where I just did vocals, and that was fine with me because I can just be a goof, but when I am playing drums, I am still really fidgety,” he said. “All of my stage fright usually comes from drumming.”
Felton dealt with a lot during COVID-19: reconnecting with his ailing, estranged father, working as the grocery store’s stock supervisor and being away from his close friends. The one thing he missed most: live shows with his band.
“It’s my way to be heard when I think no one is listening,” he said. “It’s loud, booming. There is this transparent level of vulnerability because if you mess up, everyone hears it; everyone knows. Although despite that fear, I love it. It’s a nervous rush I thought I’d get over, but it still makes my skin tingle. I am not an angry person, but it [drumming] helps me get my frustrations out.”
Most of Felton’s time now is dedicated to Zoom jam sessions and email exchanges between his band mates. Each band member e-mails his arrangement to the lead guitarist, Kwuan Colbert, who puts together the songs, never knowing the end product until the finished piece is sent back. Editing takes place until everyone is satisfied.
Despite the unorthodox method for practicing with his band, Felton still finds time to practice in his spare time.
“I bring my sticks everywhere with me and just play and listen to music, and I will be fine, but show wise that is the only thing we haven’t been able to do because there aren’t too many outdoor shows at the moment,” Felton said.
He also moonlights for an improv church band — a far cry from the drummer’s punk rock beginning.
“As a kid, I never gotten the experience of playing drums in a church and I always wanted that so getting it, finally, was really eye opening,” he said. “I did not realize that it was a lot of following. I had to stay with people in a different way than my usual music. It’s harder. When I played my first praise break, I was not ready. It is kind of like punk music. It is a lot of energy and everything is moving really fast.”
Felton said playing music gives him a sense of normalcy, a way to communicate without speaking.
“I don’t consider myself much of a talker, but I believe music can really speak for you. It matches how I feel inside, especially drums,” Felton said.
“I think even though COVID stopped and slowed a lot of things down, I think it is still very possible for anyone to do anything,” he said. “Regardless of shows being limited and venues aren’t as open as they are, this is still my dream, and it’s something I like doing. I am not going to let COVID stop anything. Plus, it is eventually going to end.”
By Katherine Jones
There have always been two constants in my life: music and writing. When I can combine these activities together, I’m happy. Whenever I cannot verbally express how I feel, I know sitting down at the piano or with my guitar will clear my head. When I’m at school, I don’t have the access to my instruments, which ultimately leads to zero songwriting.
At the beginning of quarantine, it had been nearly a year since I had written my last song. I wasn’t motivated by school. I had just gone through a pretty rough friendship breakup. I was re-adjusting to living with my parents again. And then suddenly I had to navigate through a global pandemic.
It was a lot.
In May, my dad got me a gift that completely changed that. I knew my mom had no idea he got me this gift because he walked down into my room and told me to follow him to his office. When we got up there, he pulled out this beat up, duct taped guitar case from his closet. He opened the case and inside was a gorgeous deep-brown-bodied Ibanez guitar with blue marbled details on the tabs. I was thrilled.
There was this build up in my chest where I didn’t know what to do or what to say besides, “thank you!” Immediately, I took the guitar downstairs to my room, closed my door, opened up my VoiceMemos, started recording and instantly wrote a song.
Every little inconvenience that had happened over the past year seemed to just spew out. The anger over being stuck at home. The sadness of losing a friendship. The random spurts of joy felt while smashing the piano keys. All of those feelings left my body at once and put themselves into the atmosphere. I felt like a whole new person.
Typically, my songwriting would get done when no one was home. Songwriting is such a private and intimate experience for me, so I had to find a way to make it seem like I was alone while my parents were a floor above me all day during the pandemic.
For a few weeks, I was able to sit in my room all day, shove blankets under my door and create my own sanctuary. I cranked out more and more songs, recording them on my old laptop using a cheap USB microphone and GarageBand.
Being at home allowed me to be creative again. I had access to music again. My guitars sat right next to my bed for at least a month in case I had an idea at 2 a.m. My mind slowly shifted back to its original state of giddiness and excitement. I hadn’t felt that way in nearly a year.
Without the pandemic sending me back home with my parents, my mind would still be caught in the cycle of anger and sadness it was in a year ago. I wouldn’t have had the chance to be home and surrounded by my instruments. None of that would’ve happened if it weren’t for the pandemic.
While COVID-19 has put an end to a lot of things, it definitely hasn’t put an end to creativity. For that, I am forever grateful.
By Laura Lydic
COVID-19 has meant major changes for everyone. Especially for Megan DeMatteo, who moved to a new city and took a new job as an editor during the pandemic. She was spending a lot of time at home. She had a lull in her day from noon to 2 p.m. and wanted something to fill time.
So DeMatteo decided to pick up piano again. She played when she was in elementary school but hadn’t touched the instrument since then.
“This year when I moved to New York in July I bought a piano on Facebook marketplace to see what I remembered,” DeMatteo said. “I’ve been taking lessons about twice a month ever since August or September.”
This has been a positive experience for her during the pandemic. The stress of the pandemic and changes in her life were a lot to handle — and piano allowed her to relax.
“Stress is a funny thing. It’s easy to just sit and feel the racing thoughts,” DeMatteo said. “Being able to sit down and focus on something else that is satisfying helps.”
DeMatteo has been able to use the piano as an escape. After working all day and realizing it is 3 p.m. and she is still in her pajamas, being able to sit down and play a few chords or scales helps her press the reset button and refresh.
Through learning piano again, Megan had learned things about herself.
“I didn’t realize how playing the piano would engage some of the other parts of myself,” DeMatteo said. “I’m a language nerd, and playing the piano has been really fun because there’s a whole bunch of new vocabulary to learn.”
She’s enjoyed learning the French and Italian words that are used when describing piano playing. And her piano teacher speaks German.
“Having lessons from someone who is very active in the New York music scene, and he writes and plays music helps me feel like I am getting ready to meet more artists and musicians once things open up,” DeMatteo said. “Just to have a connection to that world through somebody feels nice and like it waiting for me when things reopen.”
DeMatteo’s favorite song she has learned was “September Song” by Agnes Obel. This is one of the first songs she learned in September.
“It sounded like a hard song for me, especially starting out,” DeMatteo said. “My piano teacher was able to break it down into a couple simple patterns and I was able to learn it in the month of September.”
She continues to learn new songs and chords every day. She enjoys songs with lyrics so she can sign along. And she’s begun to play more frequently.
“I found myself starting to take more and more breaks,” DeMatteo said.