By Jared Pinder
Baltimore Watchdog Staff Writer
On a recent fall school day, the Hallways of South Hampton Middle School bustled with activity. Students rushed to classes while a handful of teachers tried to keep the halls orderly.
On this morning, teacher Heather Trulli spotted a student on his phone, a violation of school rules. She walked over and asked him to surrender his phone. “Piss off,” he spat back, an unfortunate choice that might cost him several days in detention.
Studies have shown that such disruptive classroom behaviors are getting worse, but one teacher at South Hampton Middle has a solution: showing respect.
Melissa McKay, an administrator in the Harford County School system, said that bad behaviors have been slowly getting out of control
“Bad behaviors have been slowing rising for a couple of years now,” McKay said. “The amount of detention slips and calls to home that schools have to issue is getting out of control.”
Mckay also said that a possible reason why behaviors are getting worse may be how students view authoritarian figures.
“Students feel that authority figures are trying to make them fail when in actuality, we are just trying to help them succeed,” Mckay said.
Mckay also believes that the lack of communication from teacher to student has had a big impact on behaviors.
“People just don’t know how to talk with anyone anymore,” Mckay said.
Mckay said her idea of respect is showing everybody in a room that they are on the same page.
“If respect is present on all levels of understanding, then we as people can accomplish a lot,” Mckay said.
Heather Trulli said that respect can be shown on a multitude of levels and can be as simply as showing someone a smile.
“When I walk through the hallways, I give every person I see a smile,” Trulli said. “That is my way of showing respect because it shows that person that they are loved.”
The Hallways of South Hampton Middle School before opening. Photo from South Hampton Middle School Facebook page.
Truli then said that when it comes to a classroom environment, teachers can’t rule with an iron fist because that will build fear.
“That doesn’t mean we as teachers can’t be disciplined, but we need to show respect to our students by showing that we care for them,” Trulli said.
Teachers show respect to their students when they relate to the problems, she said.
“Teachers should also try to be understanding when a student tells them about a problem,” Trulli said. “Understanding a student’s struggles is one of the most important aspects of showing respect to a student.”
Respect can change behaviors because it builds trust, she said.
“When a student respects you, that grows trust,” she said. “Through the trust we build respect. When teachers have respect from their students, we accomplish any goal.”
Susan Mouring, another South Hampton Middle School teacher, views the issue differently. She said she believes that respect comes from authority and discipline.
“Showing authority in a classroom is one of the only ways to gain respect because students will take advantage of teachers if the authority is not shown,” Mouring said.
Students who fall out of line should receive punishment, she said. Being firm and demanding respect is the only way to run a classroom, she said.
“Without these ideas, students will just not behave properly and will not learn a lesson,” Mouring said.
At lunch break, Trulli walked back to her office. The student from the earlier hallway phone incident waited for her. She shot a smile at him, and he smiled right back.
They sat down and the student opened up to her. He had been angry earlier after finding out that he and his girlfriend were breaking up. Trulli listened and eventually gave his phone back—with only one day of detention.
After the student left, Susan Mouring, Trulli’s office partner, questioned her judgement.
“He deserved at least three days, Heather,” she said. “Why did you only give him one?”
“Sue,” Trulli answered, “he told the truth and was honest. Through that we build trust and through that we build respect.”
“Respect is key,” she continued. “Without respect these problems will just get worse.”