Baltimore Watchdog Staff Writer
The discussions are called “Ironmen,” inspiring thoughts of top performing male athletes showing prowess in three sports. But for Pat Goodman, the weekly Ironmen sessions that he leads attract men from ages 18 to 80 who seek greater strength than any athletic competition designed by men.
The main topic is sex.
“Sex is meant to be a great thing,” said Goodman, director of a local men’s ministry group at Grace Fellowship Church. “But when we treat those we’re attracted to as something, rather than someone, people get hurt, lives get damaged, and people suffer.
“In terms of sex, God offers us a five-star banquet, yet many of us settle for McDonalds. The McDonalds’ diet leaves us unsatisfied time after time after time,” he added.
About 60 students from Towson and Johns Hopkins universities and the University of Maryland Baltimore County recently attended a special Friday night event at the Central Presbyterian Church. This time it was called “Forge,” although Goodman’s focus was the same – restoring sexual integrity, a topic he said is often brushed over by those involved in the church community. Attendees joked about the stereotypes that arise when connecting “college student” and “Friday night” in the same sentence: frat parties featuring binge drinking, hooking up with strangers, and possibly even illegal drugs.
“I never really realized how much the world approves of lust,” said TJ Macklin, a Towson University student. “Forge really allowed me to be vulnerable with my peers about a topic that I believe is ignored by most college students.”
Goodman said he has made a 41-year career out of speaking to men in Baltimore County and City about human desire. Those discussions frequently dovetail into the topic of sex. Goodman said it is important to talk about sex with churchgoers because the stereotypical Christian simply preaches ‘Don’t have sex!’ yet doesn’t explain why the Bible doesn’t want people to have nonwedlock intercourse.”
At 7 p.m. every Monday, Goodman leads his Ironmen seminar at Grace Fellowship Church, where the room quickly fills with a wide variety of men, from all age groups and ethnicities. The goal is to dive deeper in their faith. The topics discussed at Ironmen range from a variety of categories, but all of Goodman’s discussions revolve around human desire and design.
Since he started working at Grace nearly 30 years ago, Goodman said he has consistently pulled in large crowds to listen to his talks. Men who want to join the Ironmen Bible study simply have to walk into Grace Fellowship Church; they are welcomed with open arms. Repeat visitors know to arrive early because seats fill up fast every week and the snacks quickly disappear.
“Wisdom means to conform to the way things ought to be, the way humans were designed to function,” said Goodman. “People are free to do whatever they want with their bodies in sex; they really are, but people cannot change wisdom.”
Goodman said his passion about human desire and design slowly developed. As a youth living in Baltimore, he lost interest in his faith after his parents divorced. But, once he started attending James Madison University, he became involved with the church community and has been faithful ever since. After graduating from JMU, he returned to Baltimore, where he now lives with his wife.
In his free time, Goodman said he runs marathons, hangs out with his wife, three grown children, and grandchildren. He also volunteers at a food pantry in Baltimore City called Helping Up Mission. Drug addicts all over the city visit the Mission in the hopes that they can turn their lives around. The food offers a promise to addicts that if they are willing to change, the pantry will offer food, shelter and strong Christian mentors for an entire year.
On one of the first days Goodman volunteered, he said that he asked the addicts “why are you here?”
Most of them said because they got involved with drugs.
“No, why did you get involved in drugs?” asked Goodman.
One man said, “because it made me feel good.”
“Funny thing is, there are a lot of things people do that feel good,” said Goodman. “Most things people decide to do feels good. If not, they wouldn’t do it! With that desire, there needs to be direction or else those desires won’t be used the way they were designed to function.”
One Ironman attendee, Mordecai Salvino, was delighted by a Goodman analogy.
“He’s got this one analogy he presents at almost every Ironmen meeting,” said Salvino. “He’ll draw an iceberg on the white board. The Iceberg appears small above water, but ginormous underwater. It represents each guy in the room. Not every good thing we do will be seen. It’s common to do a good deed to impress someone, but that’s not why we should do good. We should desire to be good to move towards deeper intimacy with Jesus.”
There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone romantically, drinking alcohol, or eating a burger, said Goodman. But, when any desire is abused, what was once good can become negative.