By Sarah Ridenour
Baltimore Watchdog Staff Writer
Grace Fadely feels fine today. She has been sober for one year and her mental health has never been better.
But it wasn’t too long ago that the 23-year-old resident of Calvert County was facing some of the toughest challenges of her life. She experienced feelings of panic, an eating disorder, binge drinking and anxiety. She frequently hyperventilated over irrational thoughts, which could include things like tornados randomly appearing and destroying everything.
By the time she turned 16, Fadely was severely depressed. Last year, she was arrested for breaking into a house she thought was her own.
“I didn’t care about anything,” Fadely said. “I would sleep for over 12 hours a day, skip school, I slept with anyone who gave me attention, and I would get hammered and try to kill myself every time. I hated everything about myself.”
Fadely has made great strides since her arrest on Feb. 12, 2017, and now she reaches out to other people in crisis through an Instagram account designed to give others a platform to share their problems and get support from hundreds of others who are suffering from similar ailments.
Fadely’s Instagram page, “@openyourmindgrace,” focuses on mental illness, mental health awareness, promoting self-love, positive body image, and overall health and happiness.
It was originally meant for people she knew and to help her deal with her emotions. Within a year, though, the page gained more than 900 followers from her hometown of Huntingtown as well as from people from other states.
“I thought it was a great idea for her to help her express herself and maybe make a positive impact on the people directly in our community,” said A.J. Polesel, Fadely’s boyfriend of two years.
Her posts include personal life updates and stories of her own, tips for dealing with different mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, positive reminders, resources, and even personal stories from her followers.
She encourages her followers to reach out and share their stories with her so they can be posted on her page, either with their name and photograph, or anonymously.
“I love sharing other people’s stories, and I wish they would reach out more,” Fadely said. “It shows my audience that I’m not the only person in the world who struggles with issues, which helps them relate better. It also allows people to speak up in a safe space.”
Although Fadely isn’t a doctor, she is familiar with the topics she discusses. She has struggled with mental illness her whole life, including depression and panic disorders. She began drinking and became sexually active.
At age 17 she started taking medication for her depression, but says she’s not entirely convinced it had any effect on her all.
“I still hurt myself, I still tried to kill myself, my anxiety was terrible, I formed an eating disorder, I had a drinking problem, and was just overall a complete wreck,” Fadely said. “This lifestyle lasted from when I was 16 to when I was 22.”
One of the lowest points came in the early morning hours of Feb. 12, 2017, when Fadely was arrested. She said she tried to enter a home that she thought was hers while intoxicated.
The day before, Fadely and her mom had their house foreclosed by the bank, and she was supposed to go and get the rest of her stuff out the next day. After a night of heavy drinking, she decided to walk to her childhood home to get her things, but she confused her house for someone else’s.
“The house looked identical to mine, so I went to go knock on the door, and then I realized people were in the house,” Fadely said. “I guess seeing them flipped a switch, and I just got so angry and had a breakdown because I couldn’t believe people were already taking over my house.”
Later that night, when she woke up in a jail cell, Fadely said she realized she needed to change her life around.
Since her mugshot was quickly spread around social media, making her a hometown “celebrity,” as she says, Fadely decided she wanted post about her troubles publically to help others and show that it’s OK to have low moments, and that you can rise from them.
Though she still struggles with mental illness, since starting her page she has learned to take care of herself and stop neglecting her problems. Her close friend, Kelsey DeGennaro, says that this page gives Fadely and others a way to express themselves in a safe environment.
“It is an amazing outlet for her to reassure herself that even if she is having a bad day, tomorrow is a new day and it will work itself out in the end,” DeGennaro said. “She is seen as a person who will be there to listen and offer her advice.”
Fadely says she doesn’t want anyone struggling to suffer as long as she did, and she said she hopes her page will encourage others to understand it is OK to get help.
“Mental illness is huge in this country, and most of it is ignored or brushed under the rug,” Fadely said. “I want to be the voice for those people in silence.”
The decision to make the account wasn’t too difficult, but Fadely questioned whether it would become popular and gain enough support. About two weeks in she started thinking about deleting the account, but friends encouraged her to give it some time and keep trying. Shortly after, she started gaining more followers and people began reaching out to her to compliment her on the page.
“If people hadn’t reached out, I probably would have deleted it way early on,” Fadely said. “But because they did it pushed me to keep going.”
Fadely believes that this account has not only helped her grow as a person, but others as well. She says over 100 people have contacted her through social media, text, and email just to thank her for her page and say how much she has helped and inspired them, which is something she says she’s wanted to do her entire life.
“My whole life I’ve gone through some really weird shit, so I used to tell my mom I was going to write a book one day because I think it will inspire people,” Fadely said. “I figured starting this account would not only inspire myself, but hopefully others as well. I’m just trying to be someone I needed when I was younger.”
If you were to talk to her today without knowing anything about her past, it would be hard to believe the same girl was sitting in a jail cell almost exactly one year ago. Polesel says he has seen Fadely grow tremendously in every way within the past year.
“I’ve seen Grace turn a low point in her life to one of the best things anyone in her shoes could’ve done,” said Polesel. “She sees things in different perspectives that offer better insight to any problem. Her running the page has opened not only her mind, but her eyes as well.”
DeGennaro thinks back to a few years ago when she and Fadely almost had to end their friendship due to her destructive behavior and excessive drinking. She believes that if Fadely had never been arrested, she would have never started this page and wouldn’t be where she is today.
“She has enrolled back into college and only has one semester left,” DeGennaro said. “She has taken control of her anxiety and depression, and she found an amazing boyfriend who provides a healthy relationship. I’m lucky to have Grace in my life because she is always there to help me with an issue, no matter what it may be.”
As for her account, Fadely plans to keep it going as long as she can. She said she hopes to continue gaining more followers and reaching a wider audience to help more people who are struggling.
“The overall purpose of this page is to help others,” Fadely said. “I have to help people. It just gives me purpose in life. If this page can help just one person, I’m happy.”
2 Comments
Grace, Wishing you happiness and good health. Thanks for reaching out and helping so many others!
Nice one, Grace! KNEW you had it in you!!!