By Taylor N. Villarreal
Baltimore Watchdog Staff Writer
Holly Steg remembers when her husband started isolating her from her family by denying her a phone.
She also remembers living in fear whenever he walked through the door.
“Almost 20 years ago, I was married to a man that abused me mentally, physically and sexually,” said Steg, who endured about five years of abuse until she finally left her husband in the mid-to- late 90s. “ I was trapped in a really bad situation.”
On many occasions her abuser would grow aggressive for even the slightest mishap, Steg said.
“Things would happen, like I would make a baked potato instead of mashed and he would come home and get mad and throw me out the back door and break dishes,” Steg said. “I almost had a checklist to make sure that things were done a certain way because I didn’t want him to get mad when he came home.”
Steg came through those dark years and today she is the namesake for an annual 5K run started by her nephew to raise money to combat spousal abuse.
This year marks the third annual Holly’s Hope 5K and the event will be held Oct. 22 at the Liriodendron Mansion at 502 W. Gordon St. in Bel Air.
The cost is $25 for registration for the one-mile walk/5K run and $100 for those who want to donate more and become a Holly’s Hero. The money goes to the Sexual Assault and Spouse Abuse Resource Center (SARC) in Harford County, a non-profit organization that helps women who are victims of abuse by offering safe houses, a helpline and expertise advice to name a few.
“Were helping people who need it,” Steg said. “I can’t tell you how far these dollars go for the women that need the help. I think this event helps give a voice and face to the issue at hand and sometimes we all need to see that.”

Throughout her marriage, Steg believed that the abuse was her fault. Her emotions were further rattled when her former husband would bring her flowers and gifts after an abusive incident.
In other cases, Steg said she would receive 15 to 20 phone calls when she was at the grocery store. Her husband wanted to know what she was doing, where she was and when she would be home.
“It gets to the point where your whole life is just completely controlled,” Steg said.
Steg decided to leave her husband after she broke her leg and sprained her ankle from being thrown down the steps.
Steg began going to SARC in the midst of all the abuse, and she continues to be active in the organization 15 years later.
At one point, Steg had to use a rental car to get to SARC so that her husband couldn’t see where she was going because she knew he would get mad, Steg said.
“It wasn’t a life that I would have wished upon anybody,” Steg said. “And at the beginning you never would have known that he was like that because he was so sweet. But then slowly he turned and turned and turned.”
It took Steg four tries to leave her husband. She kept giving him chances, she said, because he kept promising to stop the abuse.
“You know you struggle whether you tell the person what is really going on because are they going to believe you … because it’s your fault, so you still believe it’s all your fault,” Steg said, looking down for a moment.
Steg finally decided to open up to her friend Amy. She said it was the best decision she made.
“I don’t think that I could have gotten through any of it without her,” a teary-eyed Steg said.
The catalyst for the Holly Hope 5K race was Steg’s nephew, Ethan Brito, who is currently enrolled at West Point College.
During his junior year in high school, Brito wanted to complete a project that he could mention in his application for a scholarship. When Steg opened up to him and let him know about the abuse and how much SARC had helped her, Brito decided that a 5K in her honor was the perfect project.
“What amazed me is how she could still love me and still be such an important figure in my life, but also keep that to herself and how she just became so much stronger and how she grew and how SARC saved her,” Brito said. “Domestic violence is not something that can just be swept away and brushed under the carpet.”
A total of 42 people lost their lives last year from being a victim of abuse in the state of Maryland, according to Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence.
Sandi Linkous, a volunteer for SARC, said most people fear coming out about their abuse and don’t want to be open. She said Steg is considered by many at the organization to be a confident and strong woman.
“The openness of her journey from start to finish helps people see that it’s not an isolated case,” Linkous said. “It’s neat to see that she isn’t afraid to put a face to the issue.”
Leaving an abusive relationship can be harmful to the victim, according to Luisa Caiazzo, the CEO of SARC.
“Having Holly share her story is powerful for those thinking of leaving because it highlights that you don’t have to do it alone and that people are ready to help,” Caiazzo said. “For someone in that situation it can be impossible to imagine a different future free from abuse.”
Amber Dawson, a counselor at SARC, said she believes most people have a moment when they realize they are being abused and they turn to an organization like SARC.
“Holly not only illustrates that leaving is possible, but also that you can thrive,” Caiazzo said.“The event is appropriately named Holly’s Hope because hope is what her story offers to countless people.”
That hope, Brito said, came from SARC.
Today, Steg is happily remarried to a man that supports her 100 percent and a stay-at-home mom with two children who refer to each other as sissy and bubby.
Her family has been her biggest support through all of this, Steg said.
Organizers said they are hoping for a big turnout this year for the 5K event and to bring awareness to the community and people about domestic abuse, Steg said.
Steg feels that SARC and Holly’s Hope one-mile walk/5k has opened many doors for her.
“I think having an event like Holly’s Hope means more to me than I can put into words,” Steg said. “I’m so appreciative of the support that I have been given.”
1 Comment
I know her personally and she is so passionate about helping others.